Silver Linings

And who could understand her?

She closed her eyes and jumped. For half a second she flew and landed on the cold, wooden floor.

She jumped again. And again.

Not once had she managed to do it properly. She could feel something was wrong. Sweat was pouring from her brow as she flew once more. What was she doing wrong?

The face – calm. Her feet – steady. Her mind – determined. Her heart was set to this thing as much as she could allow it to be.

She was crazy to try this. “It’s too difficult”, people said. “You’ll never manage to get it right.” She knew she was crazy, it’s what the doctors had said.

And what of that? She was going to try. A diagnosis won’t stop her. As bad as it may be, she had one thing in her life and she wasn’t about to lose it too.

She jumped again. Five, six, seven, eight… And to think people don’t understand… She stumbled and fell.

Getting up, she felt tears run down her face. The little droplets crashed onto the wood. Two and three… She knew it was too difficult. Too new. Too advanced. But when did that ever stop her?

It was next week when she was going to show them all that she could. Alone. She was going to prove what she could do.

A lunge and, stop. Sixth, forth, seventh.

She fell. The tears kept rolling down. From the start, now…

She remembered the seashells. Her eyes while she was smiling. The laughs, the smile… She hadn’t forgotten. The good feeling, the feeling she knew she provoked in so many others… in her eyes.

Seven and, eight. Why not stop? For that last look, for that last smile. The tears hadn’t stopped. One, two, three… They would understand. She’ll show them.

Because she can. Because it’s the only thing that keeps her sane. The only thing that makes her breathe properly, that makes her get away from the hard wooden floor…

She jumped and landed on her feet. She could do it. Perfectly. She had to do it, for that feeling of having something come to life. For that feeling of accomplishment. For herself… and for her.

And to show them. Vulnerable, crazy, ill she might be, but she was doing it. What was wrong then?


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