Dub-dub. Dub-dub. Dub-dub.
I was lying down. On the bed I knew so well, paralyzed by the unknown. As nervous as ever, I looked around the small green room I knew oh-so-well. Ironic, eh? There was the old record-player, clean and obviously used throughout the years. The window that faced the mountain. An old TV, the small kitchen. I loved the place – I had spent so many hours both dreaming about it and being there. And finally, I was there. And I sat up, worried, about what was to come.
I decided to get up and make a step or two – my feet were sore from my sleep. One step. Another. There’s the third one. How long had I been there? Ten minutes? Twenty? An hour, or was it already tomorrow? I should get going – I didn’t even know why I was there. But… wait. I already was in the room I loved being, where I’d always hoped to… To… Why would I be here now, the question was. Or maybe, why would I leave, now? Ugh, too much thinking… I went to the sink and filled my hands with water. Splashing it onto my face, I felt a shiver going down my spine. The water was cold. How hot was it in this room?! I can’t believe I’m still alive, it’s so hot! And I remembered I had left my t-shirt next to the bed. I splashed myself once again; I wet my hair. Phew, that’s better. But I’m not feeling too well…
“You got the kind of look in your eyes
As if no one knows anything but us…”
I had not noticed the modern stereo system playing. It was silent, why was it so silent? But it was still playing, emptying the room from the tension within. I felt the music with my very brain, as if it passed through my skull and into my head. It stayed there.
I lost my balance. I saw a crimson liquid flowing out of my nostrils. I knew it was too hot in here… I lied down once again. “Breathe, Martin.” I was getting better. The world stopped swirling. I was better. I slowly got up. I went back to the sink and grabbed the sponge. I soaked up the red from the tiles on the kitchen floor. I went to the small bathroom and washed my face again. I was better.
“Well, tell me when it kicks in
Well, tell me when it kicks in…”
Was the music supposed to sound like this? I loved this song. It was repeating the same line over and over again, I couldn’t seem to unhear it.
Oh, damn. I fell down. Did I trip on something? Wait, what is that? God, I bloodied up my favorite pair of shorts. Ah, never mind. I just think I’ll go back into that cozy-looking bed… Or not… I didn’t even feel it coming. The warm, sour, and particularly unpleasant surprise flew out of my stomach and onto the bathroom sink. Am I sick? I was starting to get worried. What in the name of God was going on? Uh, here it goes again… Bleh, gross. I think I’ll lie down now, for sure. I slipped onto the carpet in the middle of the room. World, stop spinning, please…
“Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it’s enough for me…”
I opened my eyes. The sun had almost set behind a layer of clouds in the distance. The ceiling was no longer spinning. I got up, this time more carefully. I was OK. My knees were clean, bruised but not in the state I had last seen them. On the counter, next to the sink there was a sponge, the sponge I’d put, and it was red. I went to it and picked it up. A drop of wine fell from it. But I thought… Nearby were two crystal glasses, with only a small patch of red left on the bottom of each. The bathroom was clean. It smelled of detergent. I went back to the bed. What had just happened? I knew where I was but… how did I get here? Why was I here? And where was my shirt?!
The door creaked. A silhouetto I knew too well entered and looked at me. I saw the eyes, I felt them watching me. Why was I afraid? I never felt vulnerable in this room, a room I’d grown to love after days and days of watched movies and shared laughs.
“We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around…”
The eyes kept watching. I was afraid. I was exposed. I felt ashamed.
“Just promise me, you’ll always be a friend
‘Cause you are the only one…”
I made a step, then two, closer…
“You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
And in a moment I knew you, Beth.”
My heart had never beat as hard as it did that day.